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Writer's pictureHolly Ainsworth

10 Ways to Help a Friend that is Struggling with their Mental Health

Updated: May 21, 2019



1. Open up your communication

Regularly texting, calling, or connecting in-person is a great way to build trust and demonstrate that you are present for your friend. It also shows that you care about their well being on a personal level which is essential in creating a support system for their healing. A quick “How are you?” can go a long way. Keeping in touch over a period of time can also allow you to gain more insight into their mental health journey. It’s so beautiful being able to see their strength in such difficult situations and help support them when they need it most.



2. Invite them out

Even though the setting that you may be recommending might not be optimal for every person, just giving the option of attending builds toward inclusion and could give them a break from a possible rut. If they are unsure about the plans being made, don’t be afraid to ask for input for that day and future events in order to make them more comfortable. For example, opting for a smaller get together or a more familiar setting if it is difficult for them at social outings.



3. Make genuine and kind gestures

Nothing is better than receiving a kind message out of the blue from a friend. If you see something that reminds you of them or brings up a warm memory, don’t be afraid to let them know! Expressing their importance in little ways can make a big difference. Don’t be afraid to take in the beauty of others and appreciate the differences between us all. We all have a great amount of worth, and being able to find that in others is eye opening. You never know what someone is going through, so always be kind.



4. Respect where they are in their journey

Some people may not be ready to reach out for help, and that is okay. Pressuring them to seek professional services is a difficult line to walk. For a real change to be made, your friend must genuinely feel the need to reach out. It is not something that can be superimposed on them. Being reluctant toward medical help is normal, so be patient and respectful with their decisions. The only time when you should take charge is if they could hurt themself or those around them.



5. Let them know that you are there for them

The most important part of healing is having a stable support system. Being surrounded by love, care, and respect can’t be beat. The time spent inside of the doctor’s office makes up only a small portion of the road to recovery. Most of the battle has to be fought at home on their own terms. Having a friend to lean on can potentially speed up the healing process because care is a medicine all on its own.



6. Keep to your word

Making plans or promises with your friend is wonderful as long as there is some follow through. For example, canceling your coffee date without a good reason may come off poorly and could dig away at your friendship if it’s a consistent problem. Keeping up with plans builds trust and reliability in you, which are essential ingredients in supporting one another.



7. Learn any potential triggers and ask how you can help

Especially with disorders such as anxiety, being exposed to certain settings and situations can trigger a fight or flight response with extreme symptoms such as dizziness, tingling, and nausea. When these events happen in your presence, it’s beneficial to know how to de-escalate the situation. If it’s appropriate you could use grounding techniques, pull them aside from the current setting, or any other techniques that they find useful. You can also ask them if there is anything you can do to help if you aren’t sure where to start.



8. Create a safe space when needed

When your friend is having a difficult time, one of the best things you can do is create a positive environment where they feel comfortable being themself. Whether it is hanging out in smaller groups every once in a while or staying in rather than going out that night, giving them a space where they can recharge and express their thoughts is essential. In the case of panic attacks, getting your friend some place where they feel self and can let the feelings pass can be a great help.


9. Take note of any sudden changes in behavior

Changes in behavior such as drastic highs or lows can indicate a more serious problem at hand. The main concern to have is the health and safety of your friend and those around them. This may be the most difficult time of their life, and their grasps on control can become difficult to keep. If any immediate danger is present, please contact your local emergency services and any of their close family that you may have contact with. Most police officers are trained in Mental Health First Aid, so they are well equipped to defuse potentially devastating situations.



10. Most importantly… take care of your own health needs!

Have you ever heard about compassion fatigue? After taking care of the needs of others over a period of time, it may begin to take a toll on you physically or emotionally. Please take some much needed personal time to recharge. You are trying your best to help, and that is all that you can do. Speaking to a professional about what you and your friend are going through can be a great release and could give you a better perspective about your part in their recovery. You are not a therapist to your friend, so don’t let yourself fall into that role. If needed, you can talk to your friend about where the line needs to be drawn.



National Suicide Prevention Line:

1-800-273-8255

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